Hey there! Welcome back to our reality check series, something we’ve all needed after being glued to social media. Have you ever noticed how bizarre our expectations have become about the most natural things? So, stepping out of the pandemic bubble and seeing real people on the streets, all masked up, was surreal. It honestly felt like I was the protagonist in some epic movie, about to uncover something extraordinary with just one step out of my house. But what I really ended up discovering was…
…that I felt like an alien. Everything was eerily silent yet thrilling that day as I stepped out of the house, definitely giving off main character vibes. The air from the moving transport felt different, and the little sunshine on my face gave me a warmth that social media never could—it was more like it was heating up our minds instead of warming us.
The transport I was in stopped at a four-way road. I saw a girl stepping out of a bus, probably waiting for a cab. She looked good, just like on social media, until I noticed her hand. Her nails were long and polished, those extensions seemed natural to me. Her palm was red, like a winter filter, but her arms—oh my goodness! Is she for real? What the heck, cover it up! That can’t be real, I must be imagining things.
…those quite long but silky body hairs on her arms. My transport passed by her, but I felt like an outsider, freshly unplugged from the social media matrix. I wondered, what would people think about those hairs if they saw them? It was judgmental of me, I admit. Wouldn’t her life be miserable with those so-called weird things? But no—guess whose life was actually miserable? Mine, and many like me.
She didn’t give a damn—neither about me nor anyone else’s opinions. She wasn’t insecure, but society would make her feel that way if she were ever pointed out. It’s baffling how we celebrate long, acrylic nails as a fashion statement, but if someone has a natural, simple design on their nails, we call it BORING! Why should we care about someone else’s natural features when it’s really our own insecurities projecting onto them? She didn’t worry about these judgments, but she might if she were ever confronted by them.
BUT THINK ABOUT IT, NOWADAYS BEAUTY STANDARDS ARE MAINLY SET TO US BECAUSE OF SOCIAL MEDIA, WHAT WAS THE MEDIUM OF IT BACK IN DAYS.
ANCIENT CIVILISATIONS
Ancient Egypt had Ideal beauty included slender bodies, narrow shoulders, high waists, and symmetrical faces. Women often adorned themselves with intricate hairstyles and cosmetics.
Ancient Greece had Plump, full-bodied figures with light skin were considered beautiful. Men and women both valued well-proportioned bodies.
Han Dynasty had Slim waists, pale skin, large eyes, and small feet were prized.
MEDIVIAL EUROPE
Middle Ages had Pale skin, rosy cheeks, and delicate features were idealized as signs of purity and aristocratic refinement. Women wore ornate headdresses and embroidered garments.
RENAISSANCE
Italian Renaissance had Ample bosoms, rounded stomachs, and full hips were celebrated. Beauty was seen as a manifestation of divine creation.
VICTORIAN ERA
Victorian England had The hourglass silhouette was idealized, achieved through corsets and crinolines. Women aimed for a full-figured look.
ROARING TWENTIES
1920s: Flat chests, downplayed waists, and boyish figures were in vogue. Women wore bras to flatten their chests and adopted short bob hairstyles.
GOLDEN AGE OF HOLLYWOOD
1930s – 1950s: Curves, hourglass figures, and large breasts were the standards. The ideal was a slim waist with pronounced curves.
what remained same except for changing beauty standards.
People… yes, of course, people. If there wasn’t any following, there wouldn’t be any beauty standards. Reading about these might make you feel sick about how people perceived beauty in the past. But trust me, it can change again, and in a few months, you’ll find yourself wanting to be part of it and thinking of ways to fit in.
If some influential people decided to have surgeries to achieve a ‘no butts’ look, it could quickly become the beauty standard of the decade, and people would rush to do the same. It may seem like a ridiculous thing we hear about, but it impacts our hearts and minds deeply, leaving a lasting foundation.
MARILYN MONROE
A beauty icon to the whole world, yet not to herself. Despite her global acclaim, she struggled with self-belief—her past, genetic mental condition, and a life in Hollywood that many dream of but was a nightmare for her.
Her life was tragically sad, and you can find her story detailed in many books. What stands out is that she was one of the victims of these relentless beauty standards.
It’s a poignant reminder of the pressure and pain that these ideals can inflict, even on those who seem to embody them perfectly. It’s crucial to recognize and challenge these standards for the sake of our collective well-being.
Marilyn Monroe, born Norma Jeane Mortenson on June 1, 1926, in Los Angeles, California, had a tumultuous childhood. Her mother, Gladys Pearl Baker, struggled with mental health issues and was frequently institutionalized, leaving Norma Jeane to be raised by multiple foster families and even spending time in an orphanage. She married James Dougherty at 16 but divorced him shortly after he joined the Merchant Marines.
Monroe faced numerous challenges in her adult life, including a battle with mental health issues. She was rumored to have borderline personality disorder, characterized by unstable moods, behaviors, and relationships. Her struggles with insomnia and addiction to barbiturates ultimately led to her tragic death from an overdose on August 5, 1962.
“I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love.”
“When you’re famous, you kind of run into human nature in a raw kind of way. It stirs up envy, fame does. People you run into feel that, well, who does she think she is, Marilyn Monroe? They feel fame gives them some kind of privilege to walk up to you and say anything to you, of any kind of nature — and it won’t hurt your feelings — like it’s happening to your clothes, not you.”
“I’m afraid of being forgotten, of being left alone, of being abandoned.”
THE DISORDERS SHE WAS VICTIM OF AND YOU ARE TOO...
- Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD): Excessive preoccupation with perceived flaws
- Negative Self-Talk: Critical inner voice, self-blame, and self-doubt.
- Unrealistic Expectations: Setting unattainable beauty standards.
- Anxiety: Fear of not meeting beauty standards, leading to stress and worry.
- Depression: Negative self-perception, low self-esteem, and hopelessness.
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE A PART OF IT
Direct Validation
- Asking for compliments: “Do I look good in this?”
- Seeking reassurance: “Am I attractive?”
- Checking social media likes and comments
Indirect Validation
- Posting selfies to gauge reactions
- Seeking attention from others (e.g., flirting)
- Comparing themselves to others (e.g., celebrities or peers)
Cultural and Societal Pressures
- Media representation: idealized male beauty standards
- Social norms: conforming to traditional masculinity
- Peer pressure: seeking approval from friends or colleagues
-And here are questions to help individuals break free from seeking validation:
Self-Reflection
- What am I seeking validation for?
- Is this need for validation rooted in insecurity or self-doubt?
- What are my core values and strengths?
- How do I define success and happiness?
- Am I comparing myself to others or setting my own standards?
Inner Strength
How do I cultivate inner peace and contentment?
Can I trust myself and my abilities?
Am I confident in my decisions and choices?
Do I prioritize my own needs and desires?
Am I resilient in the face of criticism or rejection?
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS POST, KINDLY DROP YOUR OPINION ON THIS MATTER. #yourvoicematters
LESSON OF THE STORY
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